My Heart Went a Walking

Someone once described having a child, as your heart walking around outside your body. That's about right on the money.

Among his many many admirable traits, J is not a crier. He typically cries only if he has genuinely hurt himself or at the return to Canada of his much-loved Grandma after 3 months with us. If he is very very angry, he will sometimes spout tears of rage, but really that's about it.

If you recall my prior post, there is something of a love triangle happening between the three best friends of J, Adam, and Alyssa. If one gets invited to another's for lunch, the third ends up feeling isolated and left out. If two play a game in the classroom or at récréation (recess) without including the third....well you get the idea. All very cute in a 90210-for-the-seven-year-old-set.

Today, J had Alyssa over for lunch and they played together beautifully, bouncing on the trampoline, comparing who could burp or arm fart loudest, typical stuff. Adam came over about a half-hour before we needed to return to school since his mom had an appointment downtown. I was a little worried about the dynamic of the 3 of them but again they all played beautifully. "Phew, I worried for nothing", I thought, as I rounded them up at 1:20 to return to school.

When J came through the front door in to brush his teeth, I caught the tail end of his comment to Alyssa "non, c'est toi que je déteste, tu n'est pas gentile et vous deux ne joue jamais avec moi a récré!!!" (Translation: it's you I hate, you are not nice and the two of you never play with me at recess anymore). He then stomped off to find his shoes. Alyssa and Adam attempted to explain their side of the story to my general amusement at all this drama. I listened then went off to locate J whom I found sitting on the back kitchen door stoop sobbing for all he was worth. All amusement instantly disappeared.

So often parenthood is rough road to navigate and seven-year olds don't respond to rational explanations of small jealousies and unintentional slights. Childhood drama it may be but my heart still broke today watching my child's break for the first time.


PS By the end of school today, the 3 of them were best friends again.

Voices From The Back

Scene: In my car on the way to judo yesterday. Sitting in the back seat are J and his best mate, and fellow Canadian, Adam...

J: "You know Adam, today at lunch Alyssa told me 'je tu promis, c'est toi qui est mon amoureux'(translation: "I promise, it's you that I love")

Adam: "Well she told me this week 'c'est un secret, mais c'est toi qui est mon amoureux', so I don't think that you're supposed to know"

J: "I'm telling you I'm her AMOUREUX"

Adam: "I'M HER AMOUREUX"

Pause

J: "I know maybe we're both her amoureux"

Adam: "Ya!"

J: (With a mild note of panic in his voice) "What if someone else is her amoureux???"

Later in the day back in the privacy of his own home...

Adam: "Mom is J moving away soon"

Cindy: "Not that I know of but maybe someday"

Adam: "Well at least I won't have to share Alyssa anymore"

Sheesh, they're 7, imagine when they're 17!!