Now he is 10

I cannot fathom that it has been 10 years, 10 YEARS, since I walked the corridors of the Rockyview Hospital in Calgary, breathing through contractions and trying vainly to summon C2 and my sister-in-law who were inspecting the espresso machine.  10 YEARS!  10 years since J blessed our lives with more love than I thought possible.

J is in that shadowy world between little kid and big kid.  A world where he still wants cuddles and kisses (just not in public) and one where he says things like 'random', and BRB (be right back), and...horrors...where body odour has begun to develop, yikes!

J's Minecraft 'non-party' - 3 best mates only

I live in that shadowy world where I still want us to be his entire world but with a wary eye on the future, knowing we have to equip him to fly with confidence and joy away.  I always want to see him at the kitchen table or under a blanket watching Phineus and Ferb.  I want to pick him up from school everyday and see that smile of expectation at my presence when he comes out the door.  I want to rub his tummy and sing "A - You're Adorable" to him every night.  But if the next 10 years fly by as fast as the last, that time is running out.

He is 10.  It's an age where I question every single thing we do.  Will being tough on academic expectations at this age build good study habits or turn him off University?  Will watching Harry Potter together on a school night discourage sleep or encourage tender memories?  Will banning Minecraft for naughty behaviour build resentment or an understanding of consequences?  Will my conduct when I'm PMSing scar him forever?  I don't know, I guess all we can do is what comes naturally, and for the most part rationally.

We two goats did not produce a lamb, that's for sure, and he is a Gemini through and through.  He is a most amazing kid, has lit up our lives with unequivocal brilliance, is loved by friends and adored by family.  Now if I could just slow down time.